Budget Jokes one liners 2022: With the Union Budget for 2022 being announced tomorrow on 1st Febraury. Experts in the education sector are hoping for a variety of demands to be met for the growth and improvement of the sector. Here are some jokes and quotes on budget 2022. Experts are awaiting the budget and are hoping towards an alignment of Budget 2022 and NEP 2022.
Did you hear what NASA’s new slogan will be once their budget is cut?
“NASA: The Sky’s The Limit”
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
What did officials say after budget cuts forced them to cancel the last few moon missions?
My wife wasn’t too happy when I mentioned that our limited budget meant deciding between improving the kitchen plumbing or replacing the pool pump.
Its either sink or swim.
My wife decided to trim our household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand…
Proud of her savings, she boasted “We’re are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.”
I replied, “Good, wash it again!”
Was going to go to Norway on holiday this year. Ran the numbers through my budgeting spreadsheet and . . .
. . . couldn’t a-fjord it.
Which brand of cars can you buy without going over budget?
A Ford!
what do COVID-19 and a traveler on a budget have in common?
they travel by delta
what is the difference between COVID-19 and delta airlines?
only one can become airborne.
What does a Jedi on a budget eat for dessert?
Only one Cannoli
What do cannibals on a budget eat?
संता – मुझे 10 रुपये दे
बंता – तो मेरा क्या फायदा होगा ?
संता – संता 10 रुपये दे मैंने तुझे
लाख रुपये की बात बताऊँगा
बंता – ये ले 10 रुपये बता?
संता –
.
.
.
.
यही कि, भाई!
हर किसी को ऐसे पैसे मत बांटा कर
लड़की ने अपने बॉयफ्रेंड को फोन किया,
लड़की- जानू क्या कर रहे हो?
लड़का- पैसे जोड़ रहा हूँ,
लड़की- वाओ. तुम मेरे लिए i-phone
खरीदने के लिए पैसे जोड़ रहे हो ना?
लड़का – ज्यादा दिमाग मत चला,
10 का नोट(10 Rupees) फट गया है,
उसे टेप से जोड़ रहा हूँ
Just took a power nap on a park bench. Made $7.30 in change.
Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”
Student: “My father’s check book!”
I’ve put something aside for a rainy day. It’s an umbrella.
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver!
Why do I keep paying the bills? It just encourages them to send more.
If I had $1 for every time I looked on the negative side of things, I’d have a huge tax bill.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.
My wife is going to qualify for free shipping no matter how much it costs.
The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.
Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
There are two rules for success: 1) Don’t tell all you know.
Yesterday I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You can’t imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him put his pistol back in his pocket.
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*
I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.
A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year.
I bought a book titled “How To Scam People Online” about three months ago… It still hasn’t arrived.
I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn’t bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife.
What do a grenade and a woman have in common? You remove the ring and your whole house is gone.
My first child has gone off to college and I feel a great emptiness in my life. Specifically, in my checking account.
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
I’m anti-work but pro-paycheck so you see my dilemma.
Why didn’t the man report his stolen credit card? The thief was spending less then his wife.
I bet you $4,567.89 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.
My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Law professor: “You’re currently failing your ethics class.”
Me: *slides a $20 across the desk* “How about now.”
मैं पैसा हूँ:!
मुझे आप मरने के बाद ऊपर नहीं ले जा सकते; मगर जीते जी मैं आपको बहुत ऊपर ले जा सकता हूँ।
मुझे पसंद करो सिर्फ इस हद तक कि लोग आपको नापसन्द न करने लगें।
मैं भगवान् नहीं मगर लोग मुझे भगवान् से कम नहीं मानते।
मैं नमक की तरह हूँ; जो जरुरी तो है मगर जरुरतसे ज्यादा हो तो जिंदगी का स्वाद बिगाड़ देता है।
इतिहास में कई ऐसे उदाहरण मिल जाएंगे जिनके पास मैं बेशुमार था; मगर फिरभी वो मरे और उनके लिए रोने वाला कोई नहीं था।
मैं कुछ भी नहीं हूँ; मगर मैं निर्धारित करता हूँ; कि लोग आपको कितनी इज्जत देते है।
मैं आपके पास हूँ तो आपका हूँ:! आपके पास नहीं हूँ तो; आपका नहीं हूँ:! मगर मैं आपके पास हूँ तो सब आपके हैं।
मैं नई नई रिश्तेदारियाँ बनाता हूँ; मगर असली औऱ पुरानी बिगाड़ देता हूँ।
मैं सारे फसाद की जड़ हूँ; मगर फिर भी न जाने क्यों सब मेरे पीछे इतना पागल हैं:?।
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